I don’t get this way often (anymore), but the other night I was plagued with worry; which led to a racing mind… which led to me not being able to fall asleep. I didn’t have any of my “go-to” PM meds that help me when I need them. As I lay there beside my snoring three-year-old daughter in an unfamiliar place and bed, I realized what I needed to do.
It had been a day of uncertainty and weirdness… a day that I was reflecting on and then wondering “what’s next?” It had actually been a strange and unsettling couple of weeks – not just in my little world and in our little town, but in the world as a whole. My mind wouldn’t quit. I had spent most of the day in a hospital waiting room doing what you do there – waiting. My grandfather has had one issue after another for a couple months now and…. well, I could make this a very long story, but to make it short – he’s in the hospital and we just don’t know when he will get out. It’s so hard to watch your loved ones in pain – hurts our hearts.
As we were waiting, we heard of a friend who had had an awful horse accident and was airlifted to the hospital next door to where we were. I could only imagine how scary that was – and is – and the road to recovery will not be an easy one. We also learned of the death of a precious young man from our little town. It was one of those things that happen and you just want to scream, “WHY?!?” It’s one of those things that you just can’t seem to wrap your head around. At the same time, however, we are comforted in the knowledge that he knew and loved The Lord immensely and that he is celebrating in Heaven now!
All of this on the heels of the bombing in Boston….my head was spinning. What’s going on? What do I need to do? I need sleep! How can I help? Why is my daughter snoring? I miss my husband and my other girls. Do they have clothes for tomorrow? I need to get home and do laundry! I wonder what they had for dinner? What’s going on back home that I’m missing? I need sleep! I wonder how Grandpa is doing? There are so many people hurting right now! LORD, HELP ME SLEEP!
And that’s when it hit me – I needed to pray! I had said little prayers for people throughout the day, but they were short and sweet and to the point. I needed to pray harder. So I did… I prayed for so many people. The next thing I knew, it was 6:30 the next morning and I had slept well. I had fallen asleep praying. I wonder if my prayers continued in my sleep? I found something that worked much better than Tylenol PM. I handed my spinning-head over to God and He gave me peace.
I KNOW that I don’t spend enough time praying. In reality, there is never a shortage of things to pray about and people to pray for! Aren’t we supposed to “Pray without ceasing”? When I say to someone that I am praying for them or have prayed for them, I mean it – but, do I do it to my full ability? Do I pray enough when things are good? Am I thankful enough for everything we have been blessed with?
I will spend more time, not only praying, but being still and listening. My comfort – my peace – it comes from Him. I could waste a lot of time worrying – I could lose a lot of sleep wondering about things… things that are out of my control. In the words of CeeLo Green (yes, I’m quoting CeeLo)…
“Come on now, who do you – Who do you, who do you, who do you think you are? Ha ha ha, bless your soul – You really think you’re in control? Well, I think you’re crazy”
Yes, we are crazy to believe that things will be okay without Him. When you lie in bed at night and can’t sleep – or have worry – or things you just can’t or don’t understand – or need peace about anything – hand it over to Him. HE can handle it SO MUCH BETTER than we can!