If you have a daughter, then you know that there are things you wish you could engrain in her mind – things that she would not only remember, but apply to her life.

Being a mom of four daughters, I am finding myself daily trying to say these things in different ways.  I thought if I could write it down – because, let’s face it, I’m much better with the written word – maybe I could share it with them – and you could share with yours…


  1.  We are not against you.  I know it seems that way sometimes, but we really do have a rhyme and reason for telling you “not yet” or “no” or “not only ‘no,’ but never.”  We have your best interest at heart, I promise.  We will most likely make mistakes in this parenting journey – that’s right, we won’t always get it right – but we always love you, only want what is best for you, and never want to see you hurt…
  2. There are lessons in the hurt.  Those heartbreaks and struggles you are going through are for a reason.  And it hurts us (more than you can even imagine) to see you going through hard times.  Some of our greatest lessons in life are in those gut-wrenching tough days.  Not only will you get through it, but you will come out better on the other side of it.
  3. People say things they don’t mean.  The words that come out of others’ mouths really shouldn’t matter to us – I know they do – but they shouldn’t.  Those words will change with time.  Don’t let someone who doesn’t know the real you, change who you are by the things they say in anger, in jealousy, or out of spite.  Choose to be around people who lift you up and encourage you.  Which brings me to…
  4. Be kind.  It really is so easy to do and can change someone’s day – or someone’s life – for the better.  I cannot say this with enough emphasis.  Be bigger than the hatefulness and the drama.  We NEED more people to be kind in this world.  People may not remember all the wonderful things you say about them, but they will definitely remember the bad.
  5. Your worth does not come from the “LIKES” you accumulate.  For the most part, your parents have been through the same kind of stuff you have been – except for the social media monsters.  Well, not to the degree YOU are, anyway.  Oh kid, how I wish you knew how petty all that stuff is.  Your worth can’t be shown on Instagram – because it comes from your heart and no one can see that on any social media platform.  Don’t look for outside acceptance – look to those who you KNOW love you – and your biggest advocates and “likers” are right inside your house.
  6. Our heart aches as you grow.  As much as we love watching you come into your own and become your own person.  As much as we love seeing your skills and talents and specific interests grow – our heart is breaking.  We have prayed for you and held you and kissed your little faces and agonized over whether or not we are doing the right things for you.  You will never know the kind of love we have for you until you have little ones of your own.  And then your heart will ache with all these same overwhelming feelings.
  7. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  I seriously got the chills and started crying as I typed those words.  Precious girl, you are “fearfully and wonderfully made!”  You are unique and special and your beauty is far-reaching when you realize where it truly comes from!  Embrace the way God made you.  I promise you, when your heart is shining through your eyes, people will be mesmerized by you.  Stop listening to the enemy who only wants to tear you down so that you are incapable of becoming who God intends for you to be.  You are perfectly, amazingly beautiful.



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