I have blogged about “Judgment” before – judgment on others and on ourselves.
While I believe that no one has the right to judge others based on appearance
alone, we all tend to have our own perspective on people we do and don’t know –
OR – on people we USED to know who might have changed quite a bit from what they
were like in the past.

How many of you have seen a picture of someone you
don’t know and based on how they dress, the color of their hair, their smile,
etc., you make a judgment about what they are like. Maybe they look “snobby” or
“out of reach”…then you meet them and they are the kindest, most down-to-earth
person you’ve met. I think we’ve all done this, whether we will admit it or not.
Here’s an example of something else I’ve done… When my husband and I were
first dating and I had not yet met his mom, I had seen pictures and had an idea
in my head about what she was like…”Wealthy wine-drinker” was my perception of
the woman in the picture – yes, I agree that this is a bit of a strange thing to
think from a picture. So, does my mother-in-law drink wine? That’s a big
negative – she doesn’t drink at all – ever! Is she wealthy – And, I mean wealthy
in the sense of having a lot of money and not having to worry about how she’s
going to pay bills… No, she is a real estate agent in Amarillo who lives
paycheck to paycheck, just like so many of us do.

Now, on to my next
point. How many of you have looked at a picture of a beautiful girl who is
rockin’ a teeny bikini and YOU say to yourself (or out loud) “I hate her.” Or “I
bet she’s starving.” Or even, “She may look good, but I bet she’s dumb as a
rock.”

What about the woman who is so overweight, she gets tired just
getting up to go to the bathroom. Do you say, “Wow – how lazy is she?” or “How
can she let herself get to that point?”

Do you see how judgment can go
both ways? It seems like no one can win – like there is always going to be
SOMEONE judging you for the way you are! No wonder we have so many issues when
it comes to our bodies.

Now, let’s get back to that girl rockin the
bikini bod… Let’s say that girl was a “ugly duckling” growing up – maybe she
was called a “dog” by the boys when she said she had a crush on them in grade
school and junior high. What if she works her butt off every single day to stay
in shape to feel good about herself and to be able to splurge on burgers and
pizza every once in a while. How do YOU think YOUR JUDGMENT on her makes her
feel? Why should she feel quilty for doing something HEALTHY for herself? Does
it make YOU feel better to bring her down?

What about the overweight
girl… Let’s say that she wakes up every morning and says to herself “Today, I
will make better choices to live a healthier life!” only to be tempted at every
turn by her friends, family, and co-workers and by the end of the day she says
to herself “why do I even try?” Do you think calling her “FAT” makes her feel
deserving of good things? Do you think because she is heavier on the outside
that she isn’t one of the most awesome people you will ever
meet?

perception3

Everyone has a story and unless you KNOW someone’s specific story
or lived through it yourself, you have no right to think you understand what
they are going through. I was a very awkward kid for a while…I was always
taller than the other girls in my class and was so skinny when I was younger
that people thought I was malnourished. I was shy to the point of being weird
when I was very young – my mom and grandmother told me that I used to growl at
people when they would try to talk to me – how embarrassing! Glad I grew out of
that one! When I was in junior high, I felt like the girl who was constantly
picked on – I was the specific target of some very hateful coups – always by
girls I considered to be very close friends. Girls are mean…I don’t understand
why they are, but they are – especially at that age. And, it seems to be
happening at a younger and younger age now. (I try to enstill in my daughters to
respect everyone, no matter what they look like, dress like, have, etc.) I had
such an enormous overbite when I was younger that I had to wear a headgear for
several years – I even had to wear it to school! You know what a headgear is,
right? If you don’t, google it. Not only was it embarrassing for me to wear, but
they also hurt like hell! When I was in high school, I had an abusive boyfriend
who constantly cheated on me and told me I was fat. When I left home and went on
my journey to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of life, I repeated
that kind of relationship a couple of times because that’s what I thought I
deserved.

Now, that kind of story isn’t rare! A lot of people have
similar stories but may not talk openly about their specific expeciences…this
is why we must be careful with our thoughts – they become our words and words
can hurt someone more than you might ever know. I was a lazy person when I left
home after I graduated high school. I was on a constant search for who I really
was and dealt with my own insecurities by drinking, partying, and having
relationships with people I shouldn’t have had relationships with. My weight
fluctuated up and down for years and as most of you know, I recently figured out
that good ol’ healthy eating and exercise is the way to fix that problem. I have
a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what I look like, but supports me in
a healthier lifestyle. I have four beautiful daughters who I pray will love
themselves no matter what others say about them. I am happy and I try to be
positive no matter what others STILL say about me. Sometimes I really have to
bite my tongue because of snide remarks made about me by others. The bottom line
is that if they don’t like me for who I am, they don’t need to be in my life. I
only allow positive, loving people to take part in my life – as should all of
us!

perception

Instead of judging people, let’s get to KNOW each other and who we
REALLY are! Sometimes, even the people who are closest to us don’t really know
us.
Thanks for reading – feel free to share!
Until next
time,
Rox 🙂

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