Sometimes being a female is so utterly frustrating. It seems like we are supposed to be several different people all wrapped up into one really amazing superhuman who our husbands adore, our daughters strive to be like, and our sons will try to find in a wife someday. We are supposed to be a woman who is looks well put-together, but it needs to be just “thrown together”. We are supposed to be feminine AND love all the things men like at the same time. We aren’t supposed to NEED a man, but… you get the point. (Do you see why we have mood-swings?!?)
I am now in my late-r 30’s and I am still trying to figure out so many things about who I am and who I am supposed to be for my family. I find myself looking in the mirror one day and thinking “You’re aging pretty well – way to go!” The next day, I catch a glimpse into the evil mirror that hates me and I think “How could my husband want to go to bed with ‘this’!”
As a woman, I am supposed to be confident in myself and not worry about what I look like – and at the same time, I’m supposed to workout, eat right, use a hundred different things on my face and body to keep them looking young, spend an enormous amount of money on getting my hair the right color, my nails done (this is something I very rarely have the luxury of doing), etc., etc. It’s maddening at times. As I spend time at my vanity getting ready for a day of actually getting out of the house and possibly going to eat lunch with my husband, I think (again) to myself “I sure hope men appreciate the effort that goes into just BEING a woman.”
My hubby will often tell me “You look just fine the way you are. You don’t need makeup.” And, although I appreciate his words and I actually DO take them to heart, I don’t believe what he is saying . I used to be able to go without makeup and not really care. I actually DID look ok without it. I’m not sure what happened that changed me, but I’m sad because I don’t want my daughters to catch me looking so bewildered when I see a less-than-beautiful image of myself. I don’t want them to be so worried about their appearance; but, I know they eventually will… being a girl just sucks sometimes.
I often go back to this and I really, REALLY need to put this in each of my beautiful daughters rooms and hope and pray that they will remember this always…
(If you cannot see the picture, this is what it says…
“It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from within you – the beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit. This beauty will never disappear, and it is worth very much to God.” 1 Peter 3:3
I CAN say that I have strived more (I think) to be a better person on the inside than on the outside. Because, I truly believe that the glow that comes from a truly beautiful-on-the-inside person reflects on the outside so much more than they realize.
Yes, being a woman is so frustrating at times…but, I would never want to change because of the truly awesome things I have been able to do (i.e. carrying real-life HUMAN BEINGS inside of my own body – I mean, really… is that not the most amazing thing ever?). I will never be EVERYTHING, nor do I want to be. I actually LIKE who I am and will continue to just be the “best version of me I can be.”
Until next time,