Category: Marriage and love (Page 1 of 4)

fridaynights

Friday nights aren’t what they used to be

fridaynights

This evening I sit in my living room watching The Weather Channel and I realize that it’s Friday night and I’m siting in my living room watching The Weather Channel.  I’m not upset about my choice of activity, but it certainly gets me thinking.

(In my defense, Hurricane Harvey has just become a category 4 storm and it’s Texas Coast landfall is “imminent,” and I do the same thing in the peak of tornado season.)

Growing up, I remember LOVING the weekends.  When I was in my tweens and early teens, it was a time for pizza parties and sleepovers – as I got older, weekends were for “dragging Main” and secret parties in the country.  And because I am from a small Texas town, football took up a lot of our Friday nights – and I loved every minute of it.

As I got older and moved away to “college” (if you’ve read some of my past blogs, you know why I use those quotation marks), Friday nights were date nights.  For years, Fridays were full of excitement and fun!

Now I’m a little older…  and our Fridays look a little different.

Oh, don’t get me wrong!  Fridays are still totally exciting!  I look forward to Friday ALL. WEEK. LONG.

Here’s an example of a fun-filled Friday evening at the Felts household… I order pizza because, well, pizza.  After we eat, the girls start Descendents 2 for 768th time, the hubby and I settle in on the couch to watch the latest riveting episode of Dateline (in which the spouse most likely did it), and I try my hardest to keep my eyes open to make sure justice was served.  Instead, I wake up and realize Jimmy Fallon is already mid-monologue, hubby is asleep next to me, and our youngest has joined us as she has had an exhausting week of schooling.

Exciting right?

Maybe it’s not the excitement I remember from my youth, but it really is life at its best.  Our week Monday through Friday is full of craziness.  We have work, school, sports, dance, after-school events, appointments, to-do lists, etc.  The days are so chaotic that family time is hard to come by.  Asking about everyone’s day becomes habit – even though we really DO want to know – and the answers seem to always be the same.  But when Friday hits, a sense of relief flows over us and the questions don’t even have to be asked… we watch our kids live without school night deadlines and we just enjoy each other – even if we are enjoying it with our eyes closed.

True, Friday nights aren’t what they used to be – and I am so very thankful for that.

(Disclaimer: I still live in a small Texas town, so Friday nights do sometimes still consist of Football.)

~Roxanne

 

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words5

What will be left?

I have been doing a lot of writing lately – obviously not on this blog, but I promise, there is a lot of writing going on.  As I was gathering and organizing some of my old blog posts, I came across something I did for one of my college classes last year and I HAD to post something here for y’all.

A few years back, Zak and I were preparing to go on a trip – and I tend to get very emotional about my children before I travel without them.  My mind will race and I think about all they will go through if something were to happen to one (or both!) of us.  What will they be left with?

When I ask that question, I don’t mean money or possessions, although I do believe that is crucial.  Like Dave Ramsey says, “It’s selfish not to have a will for your loved ones.”

When I ask “What will they be left with?” I mean, what will they remember about us?  How did we make them feel?  Did they know how very much they were loved?  Will they go through life knowing that someone believed that they could do amazing things?

And, because I am a writer, you know what I did when those thoughts took over brain?  That’s right, I wrote each of them a letter.  I didn’t just say “I love you so much and I will miss you while we are gone.”  No.  I got specific…

I told them that they have made my life exceptional – that because of them, I am a better person.  I told them that they can do amazing things in their lifetime – that they have more potential and talent in their little finger than I could have ever dreamed to have for myself…

I told them that they are beautiful, but that the kindness and compassion they have for others will be where their real beauty shines.

words5

(The picture is a real letter – but not to my children.)

I told them to continue relying on God throughout their lives.  To pray.  To ask for forgiveness and to offer grace and forgiveness to others.

These are just some of the things I want my children to remember during their journey on this earth.  They may read these things in books or hear them in a generalized way on a TV show, but I needed them to hear it from me.

So, the question for all of us becomes this… What are we leaving our loved ones with when its our time to go?  Will they know how we felt about them?  Have we written them down so that they can be a life-long reminder – a treasure they keep close to their hearts for as long as they live?

How will our words change them?  What about our LACK of words?

Words are powerful.  Not only do we need to use them wisely, but we need to USE THEM.

~ Roxanne

 

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Condemned

I’m about to piss a lot of people off here – but, it needs to be said.

There are a lot of people out there condemning the ones who had accounts on the affair website Ashley Madison. I have read some pretty hateful comments about exposing the guilty and airing everyone’s dirty laundry for the world to see. Guess what? Some of those commenting have had affairs themselves!

It is absolutely correct that those people should NOT have done what they did – and most just had an account on there because most of the women on there were fake – but, here’s what we all need to think about…

What if it turns out that YOUR husband or wife had an account? What if YOUR best friend turns up on that list? FAMILIES ARE AT STAKE HERE! Instead of outing and condemning these people we KNOW, you better shut the gossipers down and start offering support to those who are going to need it in a big way. These people are about to go through some shit. There are going to be some devastated hearts out there.

You do not live in any marriage except your own – and we all know that NONE of our marriages are perfect. Truth is, this could happen to any one of us – and it already has happened to many.

Start thinking about others instead of wanting the cheap thrill of knowing who of your friends and family is sinning…

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