Category: Body Stuff (Page 2 of 4)

I’m a 10

I am at a place that a few years ago I said I would never be again. I have been in this place many times before, but this time is different.

Like so many other women I know, I have struggled with self-esteem issues for most of my life. Although I have never been drastically under or overweight, the number on the scale has always fluctuated. The biggest I have ever been (size 14, probably borderline 16) was after I had my youngest daughter – she was six months old when I started a healthier lifestyle – eating right and exercising regularly. I consistently started taking the weight off and started feeling better about myself. I went from being a size large/x-large, to a consistent medium or an 8/10.

I was really happy there! I felt like I looked pretty good as a 10, but then something changed in my brain. I was comparing myself to others and picturing myself as someone different. I became obsessed with transforming myself into the perfect woman – into one of those bodies we all “see” in the magazines and swimsuit catalogs. Working out became my one of my number one priorities. I worried about every OUNCE that I gained – or every ounce I DIDN’T lose. I would get down to the next size and say “I’m never going back to size ‘x’ again!” I knew I didn’t have an eating disorder, but something wasn’t right in my head.

I am 5’9″ and at my thinnest, I was teetering between a size 2 and 4. One of my New Year’s goals three years ago was to stay a size 4 until the end of the year. Really? A lot has changed since then – my other posts can give you some insight on how – and, I’m back to that size 10 – AGAIN. That’s right – I’m a 10.


This 10 is different. I feel good in my skin. I am still healthy – I don’t eat a lot of junk (although I really LOVE my tex-mex) and I still exercise regularly (I will say that I am almost 40 and the high-impact stuff hurts a little more). There is more freedom for me in that I don’t let the scale dictate how I will feel in a particular day or week – I don’t actually step on that evil mood crusher very often anymore. I will no longer let a number define who I am. I am not the size on the tag or on the scale…

I am my daughters’ momma – the one they cling to when they are feeling shy or scared. The one they tell all their stories to as soon as they get home from school. The one who smiles or “wo0-hoo’s” loudly at all their accomplishments.

I am my husband’s wife. I am the one he falls heavy into when he’s had a long, hard day. I am the one he shares his successes with and the one he wants to share his future endeavors with.

I am a daughter – a sister – a friend. I am a student trying to earn a degree 20 years after I graduated from high school. I am a child of God.

These are the things that are important to me. These are the things that define WHO I am. That number on the scale can bite me. I’m not perfect, but I am a 10 – and so are YOU.



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Being a girl

Sometimes being a female is so utterly frustrating. It seems like we are supposed to be several different people all wrapped up into one really amazing superhuman who our husbands adore, our daughters strive to be like, and our sons will try to find in a wife someday. We are supposed to be a woman who is looks well put-together, but it needs to be just “thrown together”. We are supposed to be feminine AND love all the things men like at the same time. We aren’t supposed to NEED a man, but… you get the point. (Do you see why we have mood-swings?!?)

I am now in my late-r 30’s and I am still trying to figure out so many things about who I am and who I am supposed to be for my family. I find myself looking in the mirror one day and thinking “You’re aging pretty well – way to go!” The next day, I catch a glimpse into the evil mirror that hates me and I think “How could my husband want to go to bed with ‘this’!”

As a woman, I am supposed to be confident in myself and not worry about what I look like – and at the same time, I’m supposed to workout, eat right, use a hundred different things on my face and body to keep them looking young, spend an enormous amount of money on getting my hair the right color, my nails done (this is something I very rarely have the luxury of doing), etc., etc. It’s maddening at times. As I spend time at my vanity getting ready for a day of actually getting out of the house and possibly going to eat lunch with my husband, I think (again) to myself “I sure hope men appreciate the effort that goes into just BEING a woman.”

My hubby will often tell me “You look just fine the way you are. You don’t need makeup.” And, although I appreciate his words and I actually DO take them to heart, I don’t believe what he is saying . I used to be able to go without makeup and not really care. I actually DID look ok without it. I’m not sure what happened that changed me, but I’m sad because I don’t want my daughters to catch me looking so bewildered when I see a less-than-beautiful image of myself. I don’t want them to be so worried about their appearance; but, I know they eventually will… being a girl just sucks sometimes.

I often go back to this and I really, REALLY need to put this in each of my beautiful daughters rooms and hope and pray that they will remember this always…


(If you cannot see the picture, this is what it says…

“It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from within you – the beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit. This beauty will never disappear, and it is worth very much to God.” 1 Peter 3:3

I CAN say that I have strived more (I think) to be a better person on the inside than on the outside. Because, I truly believe that the glow that comes from a truly beautiful-on-the-inside person reflects on the outside so much more than they realize.

Yes, being a woman is so frustrating at times…but, I would never want to change because of the truly awesome things I have been able to do (i.e. carrying real-life HUMAN BEINGS inside of my own body – I mean, really… is that not the most amazing thing ever?). I will never be EVERYTHING, nor do I want to be. I actually LIKE who I am and will continue to just be the “best version of me I can be.”

Until next time,


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Info about upcoming class!

I’ve had a lot of people asking me for more information on the upcoming PiYo Strength classes that will be starting in August… So, here’s the 411!

WHAT is PiYo?!? PiYo is a strength workout inspired by yoga and pilates with cardio built right in. With amazing, upbeat music and a constant flow of moves, it’s a rhythmic, dynamic, and intense workout designed to build strength and flexibility. It will tone and condition your body – it’s exactly what so many of us women are looking for!

I AM a certified PiYo Strength Instructor…I took my training last summer with my sister, Candice, (in pic below) where I learned how truly amazing this program is! Our Master Trainer was Melissa McAllister – she’s featured in the other picture!



Where will classes be?… There will be two locations for this amazing format!

Perryton Activity Center: Thursday mornings at 5:15am starting on August 1st

Perryton Dance Academy: Monday nights at 7:00pm starting August 12th


How much? If you are a member of Perryton Activity Center, classes are free to you! Otherwise, I believe that it is $5/class payable to PAC.

Classes at Perryton Dance will be $5/class OR you can get 5 classes for $20! When you purchase the 5 classes for $20, you will be given a punch card that you bring to class each time – so, you’re not getting charged for missed classes – very affordable!


Equipment, clothing, and shoes… The only equipment you will need is a mat. The PAC has some in class, but you might want to bring your own. You will need to take your own to Perryton Dance Academy. As far as clothes go, wear what you would be comfortable doing yoga in. You can be barefoot or wear yoga socks or something similar – no shoes required! šŸ™‚


Is it hard?!? If it easy, everyone would do it, right? OR, in the words of my friend, “What ISN’T hard when you first start? It IS a very challenging workout, but know that I don’t expect you to be able to do everything right from the start. You can take a break when you need to, etc. I will be going over what the moves are and previewing when needed. We are all going to be starting out together!


Who can attend?!? YOU CAN! Everyone is welcome!!! No matter what workouts you are currently doing or what you have or haven’t done in the past, you CAN do this! Get a friend to join you! Live classes are so much fun!


I will still be teaching Turbo Kick on Tuesday mornings at 5:15 the PAC and will sub where needed. There are other great instructors and classes offered at the PAC – you should definitely check them out!

If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!


Thanks! Rox šŸ™‚





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