I was having a conversation with some friends the other day and we started talking about some of the insecurities we have about ourselves. We discussed how we compare ourselves and we even opened up about how intimidated we were by each other before we were friends!
I have written and spoken about comparison – especially with women – many times over the years. It makes my heart ache to think how many times we miss out on special friendships because we have preconceived ideas about what someone else is like or that we let our own insecurities get in our way.
I am thankful that as I have gotten older, I try to get to know someone before I make unfair judgments about what they are like. I am thankful that I have friends who do the same with me… that even though they had their own perceptions of who I was before they met me (good and bad), they gave me a chance and we are all blessed more by the friendships we have built.
So, here are some things to remember when you start playing the comparison game…
- We are all very different ON PURPOSE. If we were all the same, life would get pretty darn boring. We have different bodies, different passions, different ways of parenting, different political views. God made us different for a reason and we should embrace it.
- Let’s get to know someone’s heart and circumstances before we judge unfairly. When we see someone going through a really hard time – even if it looks like it is from their own doing – we need to be more empathetic and realize that there is probably a lot more to the story than we know.
- God didn’t ask you to be someone else or live out their assignment. We each have our own calling – we have our own gifts and talents. We so often think that because our friend is doing something, we should do it, too; but this isn’t always the case and it could end up hurting us more than it helps.
- Speak life into someone! When you see something you like about someone – whether it’s that they are dressed cute, speak eloquently, sing beautifully, have great hair, nice shoes, WHATEVER – tell them! Start telling people what you like or love about them! How many times have you thought something nice about someone and they are RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, but you never say it out loud? I’ve done it many times! There is great power in a compliment, y’all – it could completely change someone’s outlook on their day. Small things can be so huge – and it will come back to you two-fold. 🙂
- That girl you see in the mirror every day is greatly loved. There are things about you that someone else thinks are amazing. You will never know all the wonderful things your friends, family, and even strangers like about you, but know that someone else wants something you have or wants to be more like you in some way. Not only that, but you are loved by the God who made the heavens and earth – He thought the world needed YOU.